Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
