I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I can tuck mytits in my pants
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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