Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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