I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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