Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize