I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
