Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Randomize
