Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
