he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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