I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
my liver is dry heaving
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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