Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
