is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
