WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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