Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
areolas are like halos for boobs.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
