so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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