we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
