I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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