Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
