I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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