Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
