he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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