you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize