Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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