Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
