I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
