Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
