Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
