in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
