I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
and you fell through a lawn chair
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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