I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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