hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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