Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
