What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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