All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
