I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize