you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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