We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
we're so committed to being not committed
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
