i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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