Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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