ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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