ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
