Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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