that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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