Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
