I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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