Jerry, you need to find god
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
