I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
