I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
