Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
