i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
