so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
