you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
