My balls are so social today.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
