At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
