Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
