Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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