Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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