Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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