I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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