i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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