dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
