At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
