Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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