Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
