she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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